Ok, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room, I have not written a post in a very, very long time. It feels weird, even to me. The truth is that this year has been tough – not the worst year of my life ( I think losing my mom at 19 takes that prize). But, it has been slightly tumultuous. After being married for nearly seven years, I spent much of this year finalizing my divorce. I also spent a lot of time completing my immigration paperwork to (duhn, duhn, duhn) become a British Citizen and I left my job to move into a new role. Lot’s of paperwork, changes and some stressful moments later, I am back on track and very happy.
I had to learn to let go of a lot of the things that I wanted to do and put the focus on where I needed to be this year. Keeping my head in the game was not always easy, but it meant that I could maintain my sanity. I also focused on some really important lessons that I felt like I already knew deep down but had to relearn. So, here is my outline of some key lessons earned.
1 – Sometimes you just have to accept when you need a break. I’m only human and you are too. If we were machines, we could crank out as much product as we wanted to. Who knows, maybe I should have my blog posts written by AI? The reality is that we all get the same 24 hours in a day and you can’t assume that what is on your plate is on someone else’s. Maybe they have a cleaner or nanny or flexible job. Who knows! You have to “do you” sometimes. That’s what I did.
2 – Don’t be afraid to ask other people for help. When you’re down it can feel harder to ask for help. I did not want to ask for anything when I was already feeling low. I knew I would do the same for my friends, but help is often easier to accept in theory than in practice. The main thing I needed was a listening ear and people were helpful and encouraging if I was open.
3 – It’s OK to put things down and pick them back up again. When I stopped writing for a while, I felt terrible about it. Why couldn’t I keep the same pace as before? Why was I so tired? How could I get more energy? I felt a bit lazy and pathetic. At the same time, I was able to put a lot of energy where it was needed, with really positive results. If I had kept trying to push forward, things might not have worked out positively.
4 – Stay connected. At first, I was up and at em’ in 2017. After hitting a few roadblocks, I felt like hunkering down in my sweatpants a lot of the time. I had a lot of great friends who checked in on me and encouraged me to get out and get going. You may not feel like you need a lifeline all of the time but staying in touch with friends and family is key. When things get better, you will want to have maintained your relationships. I had a friend in college that abandoned our group of friends for her man. By the time her relationship had moved along, we had moved along too and we were a lot wiser about spending time with someone who we knew might ditch us in an instant. Don’t be that girl.
5 – Be kind to yourself. This last one was hard for me at times. I felt like I could not get things right. The hard reality was that I was in situations – a job, marriage, etc. that were not right for me. Sometimes I would think, gosh, how in the hell did I get myself into this situation? It felt terrible! I had to remind myself that being kind to myself was not just about taking time to relax or buy myself a new item. It was about not putting myself down.
Hopefully, these tips will help you with any challenges you are facing and I look forward to writing a lot more blog posts in 2018!!