The Elephant in the Room…Let me tell you about it

Ok, so let’s talk about the elephant in the room, I have not written a post in a very, very long time. It feels weird, even to me. The truth is that this year has been tough – not the worst year of my life ( I think losing my mom at 19 takes that prize). But, it has been slightly tumultuous. After being married for nearly seven years, I spent much of this year finalizing my divorce. I also spent a lot of time completing my immigration paperwork to (duhn, duhn, duhn) become a British Citizen and I left my job to move into a new role. Lot’s of paperwork, changes and some stressful moments later, I am back on track and very happy. 

I had to learn to let go of a lot of the things that I wanted to do and put the focus on where I needed to be this year. Keeping my head in the game was not always easy, but it meant that I could maintain my sanity. I also focused on some really important lessons that I felt like I already knew deep down but had to relearn. So, here is my outline of some key lessons earned.

Lessons learned…

1 – Sometimes you just have to accept when you need a break. I’m only human and you are too. If we were machines, we could crank out as much product as we wanted to. Who knows, maybe I should have my blog posts written by AI? The reality is that we all get the same 24 hours in a day and you can’t assume that what is on your plate is on someone else’s. Maybe they have a cleaner or nanny or flexible job. Who knows! You have to “do you” sometimes. That’s what I did.

2 – Don’t be afraid to ask other people for help. When you’re down it can feel harder to ask for help. I did not want to ask for anything when I was already feeling low. I knew I would do the same for my friends, but help is often easier to accept in theory than in practice. The main thing I needed was a listening ear and people were helpful and encouraging if I was open.

3 – It’s OK to put things down and pick them back up again. When I stopped writing for a while, I felt terrible about it. Why couldn’t I keep the same pace as before? Why was I so tired? How could I get more energy? I felt a bit lazy and pathetic. At the same time, I was able to put a lot of energy where it was needed, with really positive results. If I had kept trying to push forward, things might not have worked out positively.

4 – Stay connected. At first, I was up and at em’  in 2017. After hitting a few roadblocks, I felt like hunkering down in my sweatpants a lot of the time. I had a lot of great friends who checked in on me and encouraged me to get out and get going. You may not feel like you need a lifeline all of the time but staying in touch with friends and family is key. When things get better, you will want to have maintained your relationships. I had a friend in college that abandoned our group of friends for her man. By the time her relationship had moved along, we had moved along too and we were a lot wiser about spending time with someone who we knew might ditch us in an instant. Don’t be that girl.

5 – Be kind to yourself. This last one was hard for me at times. I felt like I could not get things right. The hard reality was that I was in situations – a job, marriage, etc. that were not right for me. Sometimes I would think, gosh, how in the hell did I get myself into this situation? It felt terrible! I had to remind myself that being kind to myself was not just about taking time to relax or buy myself a new item. It was about not putting myself down.

Hopefully, these tips will help you with any challenges you are facing and I look forward to writing a lot more blog posts in 2018!!

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Joy Adams

Founder & CEO

This blog is written by Joy Adams under the pen name Alexandria Pompadour. Years ago she began clipping articles and reading blogs about charity, the arts, the best things to do and see, career advice, lifestyle ideas and tips for getting the best deal. After sharing them with friends and family for years, she decided to branch out and begin sharing them more widely online! Luxeha is a lifestyle website for budding philanthropists and socialites.

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